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Okay. You probably think I’ve been slacking. Well, I have been, but only as far as blogging goes. I have dutifully been taking pictures of my cooking. And of course, enough time has passed that these are now mystery meals. Perhaps that says something about them.

It’s good to have a little mystery in life.

Hmm. I seem to be imagining history wrong in my head again. i can’t find any pictures. I guess that really does make this post crazy.

This may be grosser than my non-bake tuna casserole, but I’m posting it anyway.

So I’m working at home today. Come lunchtime, I decide to snazz up one of my regular meals: Peanut butter on a toasted english muffin with a banana. That’s a regular, boring lunch, right?

I decide I want to make a kind of cookie-type sandwich out of it. Can’t you picture it in your head? A flaky little peanut-butter infused cracker topped with banana? Beautiful! Too bad that’s not what happened.

Achieve the fail yourself:

1. Toast the english muffin. Crumble pieces into bowl.
2. Add two spoonfuls peanut butter. Or go outside the box and use nutella.
3. Get inspired and use that cookie press your sister got you for xmas all those years ago.
4. Get your “dough” stuck in the cookie press because the crumbs are too big.
5. Form the “dough” into balls, stick them on the cookie sheet, and bake them at 350 anyway.
6. Get distracted by email and burn them.

Yep. I didn’t even get to the banana in that version. So I decided to persevere.

1. Toast the english muffin. Put it into bf’s food processor that he kindly lets live at your house.
2. Cut yourself a few times trying to put together the food processor. Remember that you are persevering.
3. Admire the teeny tiny crumbs the food processor makes. You worked hard for those.
4. Add a banana and form goo.
5. Try the cookie press again. Laugh at the big blob you’ve made.
6. Form the “dough” into balls again, and place in the fridge to cool.
7. Realize you are out of plastic wrap, and use a baggie instead.
8. Eventually figure out that the “dough” is not hardening, only getting cold.
9. Decide the whole thing looks like throw-up anyway.
10. Console yourself with the opinion that nine-year olds who win peanut butter sandwich contests make gross things too.
11. Go to Taco Bell.